Every experience of loss unfolds within particular circumstances. Additional forms of suffering—such as experiences of social exclusion, violence, or involvement with the justice system—can make the work of mourning more complex. When what we were, what we could do, or what we loved has been violently taken from us, the conditions shaping loss are very different. Not every loss simply belongs to the ordinary processes of aging, distancing, or to out life choices.

You have probably already heard about the supposed importance of, or the possibility of, “managing emotions,” and even about “emotional intelligence.” Perhaps you have thought that the idea behind all this must be positive or useful for someone. But what exactly does “useful” mean in this context? In work related to human mental health, nothing is obvious. Let us first separate a few things. On the one hand, there is the person who experiences the various emotions that are pa